


Lonely

by elricsyao



Series: 31 days of whumptober [9]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Al deserves better, Al deserves the world, Angst, Ed is a good big brother, Gen, Let Al be happy challenge, Lightish Angst, Whumptober 2020, idk how to tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:29:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27184525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elricsyao/pseuds/elricsyao
Summary: Al felt so incredibly alone. No matter how much he told Ed he didn’t mind not sleeping; he didn’t want to be alone in the dark anymore. It was so lonely. But there was no way to work around it. It had been his choice to perform human transmutation with his brother, and this was his punishment.And it was a hell of a punishment, living without a body. He didn’t dare tell Ed how he felt; he would be horrified. Deep in his heart, he was losing hope.Whumtober day 24Theme: You're not making any sensePrompt: Sensory deprivation
Relationships: Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric
Series: 31 days of whumptober [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950331
Comments: 13
Kudos: 46
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, y'all! This is actually for day 24 of whumptober!

_Day 730._

Al looked at the clock as it struck midnight, his metaphorical heart sinking. It was now officially two whole years since he and brother committed human transmutation, two whole years since he’d lost his body, since brother had lost his arm and leg.

It’d been a long two years. The first had been spent with Ed recovering from automail surgery. The second had been going on missions assigned by Colonel Mustang. It was hard getting his hopes up looking for the stone, only to be let down soon after.

He missed being able to feel, sleep, and eat. It hurt being reminded of those every time he watched his brother eat or sleep. He hated that it hurt. He knew if brother found out about how much it hurt, he’d feel guilty. 

Al glanced down at his cold hands, clenching them. He glanced to his right, where Ed lay curled in a tight ball on his bed. He slowly got to his feet, doing his best to be as quiet as possible. He tensed when Ed sniffled and turned over.

He crept the rest of the way without making a sound. He lowered himself onto the bed, resting his gauntlet on Ed’s shoulder. His metal hand trembled on his brother’s shoulder. He wished he could touch him, wished he could feel his hair ruffled and how the sun felt on his skin. 

A choked sound escaped him, and he bowed his head. When they were younger, the brothers were always touchy. They would hug quite a bit, especially after Al had been bullied and made to cry. Ed hated seeing Al cry, which was, unfortunately, quite a bit.

Now, he could no longer cry or feel when Ed hugged him, which was rare. All he wanted was a hug.

Al abruptly stood, unable to bear the silence. He had to go outside; he’d be able to think there better. “Al?” A slurred voice asked. He looked down at his brother; one gold eye cracked open and hazy sleep. 

“Yes, brother?” He asked, hoping that the tremble he heard in his voice wasn’t there. If Ed had heard the quiver in his half-asleep state, he didn’t indicate it, which Al was grateful for.

“You going somewhere?” A yawn. 

“Just going outside; the stars are beautiful tonight.” He lied. He didn’t want Ed to know how much he was hurting tonight. There were times when it all got too much and tonight was one of them. 

Al hurriedly slipped out of the room, walking as quickly as he could. He nodded to the person at the front desk, receiving a curious stare before the man nodded in acknowledgment. Al’s spirits fell even further.

Everyone thought he was a monster, something to be scared of. He hated it. He was sure if he had his body, tears would be blurring his vision.

Al burst through the doors, the darkness greeting him. The stars shown down twinkling. It would’ve been beautiful if he’d been able to appreciate them. He made his way over to a bench, sitting down heavily on it.

Al felt so incredibly alone. No matter how much he told Ed he didn’t mind not sleeping; he didn’t want to be alone in the dark anymore. It was so lonely. But there was no way to work around it. It had been his choice to perform human transmutation with his brother, and this was his punishment. 

And it was a hell of a punishment, living without a body. He didn’t dare tell Ed how he felt; he would be horrified. Deep in his heart, he was losing hope.

He didn’t want to be stuck like this forever.

Al put his head in his hands and released a metallic sob. “Al?” A quiet voice from behind asked. He froze, quickly turning, meeting Ed’s gaze. He couldn’t bear the sadness in Ed’s golden gaze. “You’re not alright, are you?” 

Al stiffened. He’d been caught. “N-No, brother. I’m fine.” He said hurriedly. He could tell that Ed didn’t believe a word he said. Ed plopped down beside him on the bench, shifting to look up at him. 

“You don’t have to lie to me, Al,” Ed said quietly. “Whatever you carry, I carry as well.”

And that was true; Ed had been with him through everything. He’d stayed up with Al when he probably shouldn’t of; there were a few times his brother had refused to eat early on, only eating when granny threatened him.

“I don’t want to worry you, brother.” He said after a moment, annoyance fluttering through him when Ed rolled his eyes. 

“I’m always going to worry about you, Al.” Ed said stubbornly, “I’m your big brother. That’s my job.”

Al looked down at his hands. Brother was right; he’d never let him down. Ed would go to the end’s of the earth to make Al happy, even sacrificing his happiness in the process. What did Al do to deserve a big brother like him?

“I’m tired,” He admitted, looking away so he wouldn’t have to see Ed’s reaction. “I’m just so tired.”

“Al, What一”

“I don’t want to be like this anymore!” He cried, gesturing to himself. Ed released a sharp gasp, and Al couldn’t not look at him any longer. Ed’s golden eyes were swimming with guilt. “I hate not being able to sleep or eat or feel; I hate the way people look at me.” He continued.

“I don’t want to feel so lonely anymore.

There was a clang against metal, and Al looked down, surprised. Ed had wrapped his arms around him, burying his face in his chest. 

Ed was trembling, trying to get his wild emotions under control. Finally, he peered up at Al, determination in his eyes.

“You’re not alone, Al. Not as long as I’m here.”

And Al一well Al believed it because Ed kept his promises. So he finally wrapped his arms around his brother and told him what was wrong.


End file.
